Hold You There

Weightless
And it takes your breath away
Just before dropping
You dare to hold on
The rush of wind in your lungs
Freeing you from yourself
Letting it all go
Utterly alive
Utterly terrified
And flying
Feeling your heart flutter and race
As you plunge in the wonder of this vast abyss
The sparkling deep blue
Flowing up and down
Together and forever
Over and under
Sharing you there
Swooping, diving
I’ll hold you there
In the embrace of the night sky
Your spirit elevated
As light as a tear
I’ll hold you there
In our one and only time here

Choices

  
Choices left and right
Ultimately it’s up to you
It’s always up to you
You wonder if you could go back
If you don’t like the road you choose
Would you really have nothing to lose?
Looking down the great unknown
Curious, scared
You’re going far from home
All the people, places you like
Will be far from sight
You try to keep the feelings near
Letting the memories you cherish
Comfort you here
Can you always find home?
A refuge in your heart
When you are alone
Facing your fears in the dark?
You know, you don’t have to
You don’t have to leave
You don’t have to live this way
You could stay
You could never know
What’s beyond the sweetness of home
You could wonder
What you are capable of
And dream of things you’ll never do
You could be in a limbo
Between what’s comfortable
And what could strengthen you
But you’ll always wonder
What if you did it?
Where would you be?
What if you risked it
And felt more complete
What if you found
What you’re looking for
What if you discover
Another open door?

Hold Steady

  
Trusting yourself
To overcome your own misgivings
The losses you can never prepare for
The tinting of your safe paradigm
You let yourself let go of the work of
Thinking, visualizing, apprehending
Distractedly multitasking
Half-living your experiences
With fears protruding
Under uncrossed bridges
They all bare their teeth at you
And you try to count them
And see the angle they’ll come from
So their bite won’t be a shock
Though you feel their hot breath
The hardest part is forgiving yourself
For not being aware enough
Smart enough
Sharp enough
Fast enough
For not having it all together
For not making a better choice
For not preventing this moment
For not having armor or resources
Self assuredness in a blur
Memory slurred
Thoughts in a flurry
Tension stirs
In those moments you look for action
With darting eyes
But humility and honesty are your only allies
Having courage to show your neck
And offer what you hold
When you hear your fears toll
They crawl to reach you, aging you
With every inch they control
Trusting yourself
To stand still and
Hold steady
Your golden soul

Lukewarm

 Sometimes it seems
Bringing an umbrella
Brings out the sunbeams
That Band-Aids and health insurance
Brings health and longevity
That thinking of the worst
Brings happiness and reassurance
That fire drills and routine air-raid sirens
Will bring eternal salvation
That it will keep us safe on an island
Of “what ifs” and loaded guns
Feeling on edge and frightened

Why does it seem
That worrying is the only way
To keep good weather
To keep our knees free and clean
To stay out of harm’s way
To dim the lightning
Mute the thunder
To be our only preventive measure
To guard against the unknown
And stay lukewarm forever

As if our only hope
Is a protective shard
Deflating cheerful naivety
Of balloons trying to touch the sun
Hardening their thin, vulnerable skin
Sinking them with a long, slow sigh
Bringing them down from a moment
Where they felt so high
Mighty and invincible
Without a thought crossing their mind
Confident in feeling the sweetness
Savoring the warmth
No such thing as a weakness
Never knowing what could go wrong
And be blindly hit by the storm
In the midst of singing their song

In a world where we wish
To run with shoelaces undone
Wishing for the freedom of oblivion
We care too much for the gift
We’ve been given
To tread in the unknown waters
We swim
Without one watchful eye
Wide open