Photos · Poems

Sepia Toned Stranger

Sitting next to people
Strangers riding on their own soundscapes
In their own waves of emotion
Their own worlds
Islands of stories I wouldn’t understand
What are they going through?
Those serious eyes are so far away
A distance no one can see

You blend in at first
With all the other ghosts
I used to know you
I used to know everything about you
You contrast with the
Busy colorful world around you
An ancient photograph
Glowing bright from the past
A sepia toned stranger
A foreign presence in my life
Alienly wandering in a planet
That no longer belongs to you
The clock hands quiver
With a wisper from the past
Time stands still
Slow motion, backwards, parallel
Fading in and out
From you and the here and now
A confused euphoria
Of how we’ve come so far
I don’t even know who you are
How the distance was made clear
By you simply standing there
And as smoothly as you appeared
You gracefully disappear

Photos · Poems

Winter Sunlight

Hey, it’s okay
There’s sun in December
You can find a way out
Feel that life, that air
You can fly
Your heart has wings
They lift your feet
And you can float in the glimmering light
Cheerful sparkling magic all around
Wake up, feel it now
Reach for it
Ignore the shadows that trail behind
Pull away, follow the light
Follow the joy
Let yourself feel more than alright
It’s so bright
Why not believe in this wonderful sight

Drawings · Poems

Listen to Your Heart

What does your heart sound like
Does she sound like moonlight?
Soft and cool, silent and peaceful?
Or does she sound like spring?
Warm and sweet, delicate and soft?
What does your heart sound like?
Is she telling you what to do?
Or is she shyly waiting in the corner?
Hands in her lap.
Does she speak in words or in thoughts?
Or does she speak in drifting waves that make you smile?
What does your heart sound like?

Keep listening.

Poems

Lost Poems from High School: Flashlight

Looking out the closed window
Pointing a flashlight, trying to light up the darkening scenery
Attempting to brighten the wide horizons
But I can’t see, not yet.
Everything is passing, all the separate lives, places and people
I’ll never know and never forget.
I feel them walking along, own missions and trials in mind.
Looking forward, living with the past on their shoulders.
Smiling faces of strangers holding,
Tucking away the omnipresent moments,
The moments that they are distractedly smiling against.

I wonder about the things I don’t want to know about,
And look through windows to other windows,
Hoping to see what they see.
But I see someone lost in the distance, in the middle of it all.
All these things will be left unsaid.
This season is consuming me, I fall asleep,
With a loud, thundering train in the sky,
The rosy glow of an oncoming storm.
My flashlight shines back up to the sky, simple and small,
Like David’s sling shot against Goliath
I hide in my umbrella of shadows that the brightness creates.
One day, the shadows will fade, daylight will break
And the sun will meet my tiny light.
I’m going to run from this,
A chance that ignites my feet.

Poems

Lost Poems from High School: Good Weather

Sometimes good weather can make me sore
Ancient memories
Fade and reappear
With each passing day.
Histories of other peoples lives
Collide and find a home in me.
I feel like soaking in the moonlight
And breathing in all the dew drops
On this lonely hill.
I roll along in my dreams.
Every statement said
Makes a ripple effect in my head.
There’s a search light lost
Inside me focusing on
The detail I wish for so much.
Something was cut short
An important line or two
That I didn’t say or hear.
Disillusioned desires are
Crying, pining for
Something deeper
The pretty water and the smiling sky
They’re unsettling.
Why can’t I be satisfied with all that I see,
With all that I have?
My heart runs in place
As I watch the world accelerate

Poems

Lost Poems from High School: Night Ride

Under the dark sky, a forlorn road in the middle of nowhere,
Night time countryside, winding through the shadows,
The glow of deep blue,
Swooping through nothingness, kind understanding,
Comforting, a good dream,
Stars gliding above,
We’re safe here tonight,
So cool and warm.
Taken away, riding on our synchronized melodies,
The world is our best friend,
Chased by daylight,
We will never know, never know
In the car with spirits soaring so far in the deep sky.
No distance from what’s real,
Evening silence, morning light.
Sweet time fades into the passing day.

Drawings · Poems

Perfectly Indifferent

My superpowers are useless
I can be blind folded and find you
In a deep forest of 10,000 people but
It wouldn’t mean a thing
It doesn’t mean a thing
My heart is a magnet
Psychic and stupid
It attracts what it wants to see
Dragging in situations hopelessly
You’re everything I don’t want
But I see you everywhere
You don’t seem to care but I swear
I thought I saw you look for me
But you are perfectly indifferent
That’s the way you are
The way you want it to be

Too auspicious
This happenstance
Unaware of the sonar I was following
Pulled by an invisible rope
A long sticky band aide
Too stuck to come off clean
Wondering if you’ll take over places that used to be mine
Suddenly I see you, there you are
Turning me into an outsider
A stowaway in your life
Run away! I save myself the chance
To see your glance
Wishing I could ponder, admire what I see
You look different, I wish I didn’t like it
Praying there isn’t someone else to stare back at me and wonder who I am
Or who I was

Maybe I should have cried more
Talked more
Figure out the feelings that wormed their way inside of me more
Would these superpowers go away?
I want them to stay
Wish they weren’t useless
Wish I could let them take me
On serendipitous journeys and unknown lands
A place that’s safe and mysterious
Where we show our hearts in our hands
Wish I could believe in magic and luck
I wish it was more than indifference getting me stuck

Photos · Poems

Blinded


Dizzy and stumbling
Trying to find the ground
After putting my world
In someone else’s hands.

Rising and falling
Back to reality
Not sure what to feel
What to do
Where…how…
Was it a dream?
Are you still there?
Where was I?
Are you anything more than a passerby?

Letting you go, pretending you’re not there
Doesn’t feel fair
I wonder what you’re feeling
If you feel any withdrawal at all
I wonder if any feeling I feel
Is real at all.

I don’t believe in my own longings
I fight myself all the time.
Out of sight out of mind
Walking around
Blinded by my feelings
Chasing your shadow.